”…I understood why humans needed the fragrant to survive the stench of our own filth, in life and in death. I understood why mass death made us yearn for beauty; after a genocide, beauty revives a possibility of survival.”
, In SensoriumThis last month has been filled with several lessons on suffering and awe. Finding ways to show my body compassion and thank my awareness for expanding so widely and vastly, has been challenging.
Ever since I opened my eyes and heart to the continuous violence and bullying of P@lestinian people, I can’t look back.
It feels like every hour things are changing and moving.
There is a need to act with urgency, yet how do we take care of ourselves and persevere for the long run?
It feels like the truth is so potent and powerful, illuminating all things around me. Further complicating them yet also creating a path forward for relief.
The greatest form of surrender is when we reach that point, of intense complication. Surrendering can then allow for divine intervention, a better way forward. One that we couldn’t otherwise imagine.
Internally I’ve been paying attention to my personal year number. I’m about to enter 9, which means the ending of a cycle. Lots of clearing work has been laid out ahead, so I’ve been paying extra close attention to symbols and signs.
One symbol in particular that was gifted to me by my dad’s friend has been hitting differently. When I moved out at 18, she suggested that I keep an object with me for grounding. A traveling piece of home. I’ve kept this piece of marble with me for the last 13 years, taking it to every single home I’ve lived in. It’s now officially a part of my alter starter kit hehe.
I ran into her at my brother’s wedding last year and told her I still have the stone. She told me it was a piece of marble used to rebuild the Akal Takht. This was after 1984 during Operation Bl*e St*r when Ind*ra Gh*ndi ordered the Indian army to attack the Harmandir Sahib (Golden Temple) on a religious holiday. For those who don’t know, the Golden Temple is the holiest place on earth for us.
I’ve been holding the stone more than usual, rubbing my fingers across the etched ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ Vaheguru. The stone reminds me of renewal, hope and restoration. It also reminds me of great suffering and a fight that continues on.
I’ve heard several stories of what happened on that day, in 1984. I spoke with many people who told me stories they had never shared before. Just walking around holding these memories close to their hearts, and then here I was, a 20 something year old fresh out of college listening and recording. I soon stopped in that endeavor, it awakened something in me that I was not prepared for.
A long journey of after care, because as
“In Sensorium” says“Do we need scientific evidence to prove that the violence against our ancestors affects us too?”
That’s all I ever needed to feel affirmed that my heart and mental health are in too deep, and that my higher self needs feeding before diving back in.
Back to ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ Vaheguru. This word is powerful and magical because it acknowledges that being in a state of awe, is sacred. Being in awe is a path towards connecting with beauty that lives within you.
Which truthfully has been my vibe these last few months. I’ve been connecting with the inner goddess within me and it’s lead me towards ritual and ceremony. A path forward.
I’ve been inspired also by acts of devotion through food, dance, prayer, hair care, candles, affirmations, music, etc.
When all this is over, how will be able to move through the terror and fear we witnessed?
How can we devote ourselves to this fight by leading with awe and inspiration?
If we hold this intention close will the suffering disappear? Idk.
But I will always choose to persist.
Ending with some herbs for grief, grounding and easing dissapointment:
Rose for the heart, thyme for presence, and mullein for protection.
Also I’ve been oiling my hair with intention, picking out oils that are tied with cleansing my energy and readjusting my mindset.
All acts of our life can be an incantation, from chanting free p@lestine on the streets, to swiping your metro card or jumping the turnstile.
That’s all for now.
XX
Jakari Wing
P.S. thank you so much for reading and be well loved ones.
P.S.S. only baddies call their reps for ceasefire, it’s never too late.
P.S.S.S fairy playlist I’ve been listening to & one for channeling anger both made by yours truly