On Being Brave and Owning It
reflecting on my latest astrological transit
Recently I had my friend, an incredible astrologer, go over my chart.
He let me know that my saturn return was soon coming to an end (there’s a shadow period for the rest of the year after). He encouraged me to look back on this important transit in my life.
My saturn return began in march 2020. I wasn’t sure when the exact date was but makes sense given the amount of change I’ve braved through.
I looked through my old journals, finding the period when my transit began.
I had watched frozen 2 on the plane on mute. I wrote about how I enjoyed the character going into a deep dark forest to find herself. I wrote about how my brother had an allergic reaction to my gift that I bought him for his birthday. I wrote about how our family dog was acting weird. “He just looked up at me as i’m writing this”. That was the last time I would be in his physical presence, such a precious being.
Whenever I had a tough time the last 3 years, I would just think of him cuddling me and later on my walks I’d see a german shepard just like him.
I love looking into the eyes of a shepard, because in all of them I see my dog. I squeal trying my best not to run up to these doggos and hug them. Sometimes I’ll ask their human friend if I can pet them but usually I just smile real big and wink hehe.
Our dog taught me about the power of love and bravery. No matter how I looked, what I was wearing or how long it had been. He greeted me with the same amount of unconditional love, teaching me that I can be myself. And that being myself is a brave act.
I heard today that bravery requires moving forward despite knowing about all the things that can go wrong.
When we are avoidant we allow fear to overcome, but when we acknowledge the present and move forward despite the circumstances, we are brave.
There’s no other way to put it, but I’ve been so brave these past few years and if you’re reading this you probably are too.
I didn’t really feel too brave until I started looking back and taking inventory.
Before my astrological check in I had just finished “the legacy of luna” last week, by Julia Butterfly Hill. In 1997, she lived in an 1000 year old redwood tree named Luna for 2 years to protect the tree from being cut down by the pacific lumber company. The company had several violations from CA, their tree cutting business had caused mudslides and obstructions to the environment. Julia wrote the book while living in Luna.
Julia fell in love with the redwood forest and decided to stand for that love. The lumber company was not happy with all the media attention gained by her stay so they threatened Julia to come down, having cut off her food supply for 10 days and almost killing her with a helicopter. One of the tree sitters, david chain, was murdered by the lumber company after enduring a hit from a falling tree cut in his direction. Julia knew about the risks involved with staying in Luna, including 2 stormy winters with 90mph winds.
Julia was able to negotiate with the lumber company somehow and wrote about the whole experience in her book. Luna is still here today, despite being almost cut down by an unknown vandal 2 years after Julia came down.
Julia’s story was so interesting to me. She states that being up in the tree was easier than dealing with all the media and press from her activism.
In her book she recounts several times where she had to be brave. Her tenacity and perseverance were incredible and really human. She often times wondered if she should just come down but she knew the tree would be cut down along with the others.
Julia was aware of the big picture and the impact of her protest. Her act of bravery, although challenging and almost life threatening allowed for change.
At the core of her fight, she was so deeply connected to Luna, giving up on Luna was not an option. Julia was loyal to Luna and with that came immense bravery.
Julia was living with an ancestor of the land, a 1000 year old ancestor. She knew the magnanimity of her fight.
One of her acts of survival was letting go, constantly letting go and flowing. In the end, before she left, Julia called out to Luna for one last conversation. Luna reminded her that she would always be in her heart.
I believe that when we connect and protect nature, we simultaneously nurture our own spiritual well being.
I’ve been thinking about Luna’s message.
I’ve been thinking about our hearts and how much info, love, people, etc we store in there.
Saturn return feels like a return to heart ( or return to innocence hehe). I wonder about who I was 3 years ago, and whether that version of myself exists here today. I wonder where I would be had I not made brave decisions during this transit.
I think about the role nature has played in shaping my bravery, and who I am today.
When I miss past versions of myself or people who I no longer can hug, I know that I can still send love when I’m centered through my heart. When my heart is bold, and when my heart is brave.
I’ve found that art really helps me, sharing and expressing what’s on my mind. Reflecting and connecting with you all. And connecting with nature.
As I continue reflecting on lessons I learned during my saturn return transit, I invite you all to look back on times where you were brave. Where was your heart? Where was your head?
I hope in the same place hehe
With immense love!
venmo: @ jakariwing
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